Trashy Texas Talk-July 22, 2021

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⭐️Thomas Markle wants to reconcile.  Will Lying Meghan give in? He's frustrated," the insider revealed to Fox News. "He's lived his life raising his kids. He moved to Mexico to live his life in peace and not to be completely blackballed and outcast. It doesn't feel good [for him]. The family source claimed that the former "Suits" actress was closer to her father growing up than any of her other family members.

So this guy realized he screwed up and he’s older now and regrets his mistakes.  He talked to BBC because Oprah refused to talk to him - but that’s another story.  He says that the press attacked them and wouldn’t let up and that no one was there to protect his family.  But he can’t claim that The Royal Family could stop it, becuz what could they do?  They don’t control the press.  Could Meghan have done more? YES!  She should have supported them instead of dumping them that minute because she wanted to marry a Prince, especially this Prince.  So she was like a steamroller - ruthless and cold-hardily pushed anyone aside that was in her way.  Her family was top on her list of trouble and they weren’t “respectable” enough so they went bye-bye. 👋🏻 Her mother obviously was presentable.  Don’t ever think anything this woman did wasn’t concocted ahead of time. 

⭐️Oprah! Why won’t she interview Meghan’s Dad?  I’ll tell you why….because he doesn’t fit her narrative?  Nope.  She could make tons of money off this but I guarantee you that the real reason is that when she signed the contract to interview Meghan and Harry, she had to sign off on interviewing her family.  Why else would she turn down her father?  That would be a huge draw.  Possible bigger viewers than the pathetic lies and the dumb save the chickens story.  Oh yeah… and the chickens they saved from being murdered.  That was the height of exemplary reporting 😶

⭐️Jimmy Kimmel mocks Jeff Bezos, his space cowboy hat, and his extremely phallic rocket.  This is so true.  That hat looked so stupid.  

"It was an exciting day because just after 9:00 this morning, Jeff Bezos flew into space aboard Blue Origin's New Shepard rocket," Jimmy Fallon said on Tuesday's Tonight Show. "Before his trip to space, Bezos said 'I'm just really excited to figure out how it’s going to change me and "I guess space turns you into Kenny Chesney." Seriously, he said, Bezos "looks like a mashup of Buzz Lightyear and Woody — two for one. You got the spacesuit and the cowboy hat together by searching for the 'midlife crisis bundle.'" Fallon and Tariq Trotter also dedicated 30 seconds to swapping jokes about the rocket's distinctively phallic shape.

"I'm not sure what they used to fuel the rocket, but based on the design, I'm gonna say two D batteries," Seth Meyers deadpanned at Late Night.

Yes, "Bald Lightyear went to space and back this morning," and "millions of people all over the world looked up and said, 'Wow, that that thing sure looks like a penis,'" Anthony Anderson spelled it out on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The whole flight took 10 minutes, and after Bezos landed, "he exited the rocket wearing a cowboy hat. Boy, nothing says 'midlife crisis' like putting on a cowboy hat and blasting off to space in a giant metal d--k." hahahahahahahahahahhaha

Omg.  This is so funny and sooooo true.  Thank goodness when she disembarked the capsule she wasn’t wearing that dumb oversized hat, which didn’t even fit, and was the only one who was really qualified as an astronaut, Wally Funk (read about her below or just skip to the next section). She was the real thing and wasn’t about to wear that stupid hat but did have to go into space for the first time in a super-sized penis. Hmmmm….🤡

Wally Funk stood the chance of being one of the first American women in space.  At the age of 20, she became a professional aviator and in 1961 volunteered for the privately organised Women in Space program.  The program was not a part of NASA nor was it an official ticket into space - but for a while, it seemed as though the women of the Mercury 13 had a good chance of earning their astronaut wings.  Ultimately government officials decided only male aviators could qualify to train for the coveted astronaut role.

In the preface to the 2018 book, Wally Funk's Race for Space, author Sue Nelson described Ms Funk as a force of nature but also living, breathing history.

Steven Colbert said: Stephen Colbert said Bezos' space cowboy hat made him somehow look "extra-divorced," and laughed at Bezos thank workers and Amazon customers for funding his space flight. "It's funny because he doesn't pay taxes or his employees," he explained. 

😳Buzzfeed News Found Joe Biden’s Secret Venmo!  That’s A Privacy Nightmare For Everyone. This is a major mistake and super duper breach of everyone’s security! The Venmo app left everyone from us, just everyday people to the most powerful person in the world exposed.  On Friday, following a passing mention in the New York Times that the president had sent his grandchildren some money on Venmo. So for fun, BuzzFeed News searched for the president’s account using Venmo’s search tool and public friends feature. They found almost a dozen Biden family members and then not only the first family, but everyone they knew, including the president's children, grandchildren, senior White House officials, and all of their contacts on Venmo. Biden and his wife to everyone and I mean everyone!  Woah!  Now Venmo has stopped social feeds and if you don’t know them, you can’t see them.  

⭐️RHOBH star Erika Jayne is calling out the lawyer put in place to investigate her over alleged embezzlement.  Her lawyer husband who stole zillions from his clients believe that Jayne knew what he was up to and collected $25 million+ that was transferred to her account.  They also are getting a divorce because they think that will protect the money and we all know that’s stupid… so she’s upset becuz it’s her money- she says he gave it to her so it’s hers!🙄🙄🙄

⭐️Tom Hanks customized his Airstream with a fireplace.  He said “an Airstream is gorgeous and cozy, which is why everyone who visited mine went away wanting one."    He needs a decorator.  pretty tacky to me . Actually - imagine being invited over to his customized Airstream, thinking OH! Tom Hanks has fixed up an Airstream! and seeing this piece of junk!

⭐️Renee Zellweger Is ‘Already Moving Things’ Into Ant Anstead’s House: ‘He Adores Her’. He makes her feel safe. good for you - Boring

⭐️Khloe Kardashian Subtly Supports Kanye West’s New Album Following Split From Kim Kardashian. who cares?

⭐️Jenna Bush Hager Shares the Heartbreaking Letter Her Daughter Mila Sent Home from Summer Camp. "Daddy, how much longer 'til you pick me up? I miss you too much. I need to stop crying," Jenna Bush Hager's daughter wrote in her letter home. Go get her. 😢😭😢 Please!

⭐️Bully Chrissy Teigen Says She’s Going To Start Minding Her Own Business. She’s dying to get back on Social Media, it’s up to us if she’s allowed back and she knows it. She’s practically begging becuz she can’t stand not getting attention.

⭐️and in closing, probably one of the grossest ads I definitely would never ever click on! WTF were they thinking? I mean, look at those nails! Worse than Crocs! Omg …I’m sick 🤢🤮🤢